Here are some of the voices of miscarriage:
"I've had 4 miscarriages. Each was very heartbreaking for me. As soon as I was pregnant, that was my baby inside of me. I was very protective of them and was thrilled to share my body with them as they grew. When I miscarried, I went through deep grief that no one, including my husband, understood.
Don't get me wrong, my hubby was very concerned about me and sad the baby died. But he didn't understand the depth of my mourning. Everyone else said things like, "well, you can have another," "too bad, at least it wasn't a baby yet," etc. To me, my child died.
I wished that I had had some support group to talk things over. I even wish I could have had some type of funeral or memorial service for my babies. Even now, I have tears in my eyes as I type this, Robin.
At last, I had a successful pregnancy that resulted in Natalie, my sweetie! But I still mourn her dead sisters or brothers." C.T.
"It was 23 years ago, but I remember the feelings we went through as if it were yesterday.
I was whisked off to the hospital by friends because I was in so much pain, and once there, everything happened quickly. I was totally unprepared and only saw the baby for a quick instance before he/she was whisked away. We were too much in shock to even ask what sex the baby was.
Months later I was haunted by this. We also didn't name the baby, and we didn't know how it's little body had been disposed of.
My husband and I were both quite depressed over this loss in our fourth month of pregnancy. I had fought really hard to save this baby by spending two months in bed and lying on my side a lot, etc. Additionally, I couldn't get a straight answer from the doctors as to "why" I had miscarried.
A friend gave us a book to read, "Hinds Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. I remember throwing the book across the room when I read the line, "Behold, I am acceptance with joy!" I could not, would not, accept this loss with joy.
A moment of healing came several years later when I wrote a letter to this little one. I poured out my feelings and heartache and our "little angel" became my Juanita. I burned the letter and watched the smoke slowly rise.
My favorite Mother's Day gift from my husband and kids was a memorial mini-rose garden with an angel bird bath. This child will always be a part of our family." -S.G.S.
"I was shocked. It never really occurred to me that something could go wrong. No one knew what to say to me. The office staff didn't seem to see me, I think that they were avoiding me. When I woke up from the surgery it was strange to realize that I had gone to sleep pregnant and woke up empty." H.L.
"My wife was upset and I was floored. I went into "fix her" mode. I did everything I could for her, but I felt that a wall had been placed between us. Finally, I started crying one day and asked her what was wrong? She said she felt I was distant. It was a no win situation." R.H.
"I didn't realize I was pregnant until they told me in the emergency room, and by then it was almost over. I hadn't been trying to get pregnant and so it was a shock. It took several weeks for it to settle in. When I finally realized what I had lost I was starved for a baby and became very obsessed.
My next pregnancy was difficult because I had lost my innocence of the beauty of pregnancy with the miscarriage. All around me were pregnant women who seemed to not know that danger lurked at every curve.
We now have a healthy baby boy and are very glad. The miscarriage, while awful, really helped me. I was more aware of my choices and didn't let anyone walk on me during the pregnancy." L.S.
